Independence
I’ve always been independent. I left my hometown (Davao) for college five years ago and I have practically lived the last five years by myself. But of course, I had a lot of supportive friends and occasional visits by relatives. But, I can say that I’ve managed things on my own… I’ve learned to support myself financially, have discovered the nooks and crannies of the Metropolis and have eventually found my place in this once very unfamiliar landscape and way of life.I terribly missed my family. A few years back, I only see them once a year or once every two years. Then, my older brother moved here last year with his wife then I got to live with them and my uber cute niece. But then, after a year, they have decided to go back to Davao and try their luck there.
So, here I am, back to how it was.It’s really amazing how God answers our prayers. They are sometimes way different from how we imagine them to be answered, but it is without a doubt, given to us in the way God knows best.
I’ve always been praying that my brother finds a stable job, in my mind, I never thought it’s a job someplace else. I thought, I can see Cheska grow up, go to school, utter her first sentence or even her very first word aside from “mama”. I thought Kuya Eagle would always have to cook for us, I thought I could always bring home the most delicious food and share it with the three of them. I thought, we would eventually buy a house and I would live with them. They were always included in my plans.
And yet, God answered my prayer in a different way. I was sad, at first, when I found out that they had to leave. But, later on, I realized it is best for everyone. They can start fresh there. Kuya would acquire the skills and experience that he needs. Then, I can be on my own (again), to face life’s challenges with a braver heart and a wiser mind.
I do miss them… terribly. When I got home the day they left after sending them to the bus terminal, I felt a kind of emptiness. The house was so quiet… so quiet I could hear my faintest sigh. I could hear my heartbeat. And when I tried to console myself, my voice echoed. I wasn’t used to silence anymore.
I was worried too… of my safety, of how I was going to pay the rent, of how I was going to buy LPG once it’s all used up, of how I was going to dispose the thrash when I wouldn’t be home when the garbage collector comes. Really… I was worried of all these things.
But then, God made me feel I shouldn’t be afraid. He took care of everything for me. I was only alone in the house once, cause the next day after my brother and his family left, my highschool friend, Carlo moved in. Then Honeybee moved in too earlier than we expected. I don’t have to worry about the rent now. Then just as the LPG got all consumed, my younger brother, Erick and my friend, Junel visited. They bought the LPG for me. Then alas, somebody will always be at home when the garbage collector comes, cause one of us works on a night shift. See? God is so amazing!
So, when I feel frustrated and just plain sad about things I just have to remember all these blessings.
I know I am an independent person. I can have meals alone. I can go to the mall alone. I can venture into places I’ve never been to alone. I can do a lot of things alone. But, I also have to admit that I am a better person when I am surrounded with loving friends and family.
And after all, I am never alone. God has never once left me. 
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