Things Happen For a Reason

Thursday, February 17, 2011 Nicajoice 2 Comments

When I try to console friends who have just lost something or had to break-up with or dumped by someone, I normally say he or she will eventually get over it and that things happen for a reason. But actually, at a time when people are so depressed and crippled with pain, it is hard to see the sense of such words. It’s difficult to imagine what could possibly go right after such a terrible circumstance.

When I broke up with my then boyfriend (or when we both decided to end the relationship and he simply disappeared for good) I was so devastated. Who wouldn’t be? I believe, when women commit themselves with someone, there is this unconscious hope that they’d end up together forever (cheesy as it may sound). At that point in my life, I had a lot of questions, even to the point of blaming myself and my inadequacies. I thought it was my fault and if only I had done and known better I wouldn’t have lost that love.

And then little by little, I’ve come to realize the sense of it all. I believe God sent him into my life to teach me some valuable lessons, some I had to learn the hard way and some I wish I had never known.

Last night, I was able to talk to him over the phone after a year and seven months since the last time I had seen him and heard his voice. As I was listening to him, I actually uttered a prayer in my head, “Thank You Lord, I broke up with him. It was a very wise decision”. He kept saying sorry and I kept saying it was ok. He was obviously drunk and was saying things that didn’t matter anymore. I held on to that conversation void of any emotion, confirming to myself that finally, I have moved on and totally over him. If we had not ended that relationship, my world would have still revolved around him. And I would have done things differently.

Since we broke up, I have had more time for myself. I was able to explore so many things. I’ve gained new friends, been to different places, joined a couple of communities, have become so self-reliant and have been more focused on my dreams and my relationship with God; things I would not have done if I was still that naïve person who thought that he was the only reason of my existence.

At the end of it all, I am thankful for all the experiences I’ve had with him. It was through that one-year relationship that I became aware of what I am capable of doing, of how much love I can give; and how I am still at a stage when I have to know and love myself more before I can truly love someone so significant like a life partner. And through that one year and seven months (still counting) apart, I have come to visualize the kind of man that I would really want to be with. I have also come to realize that I deserve so much more.

It feels so good to have finally recovered from a broken heart. A few months back, it seemed impossible to achieve and yet, here I am now, better and wiser than ever.

I have faith that whatever comes my way - it is not meant to destroy nor harm me. It is meant to mold into that person with a greater purpose for living.