Today, I Was Not My Normal Self

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 Nicajoice 2 Comments

It is the time of the month when I'd wish I was not a woman. Blame it on the usual menstrual cramps. Although it was not as painful as the previous months, I still felt so uncomfortable and I could only hope that I was not at work feeling every bit of the pain; helpless and hopeless against the constricting sensation that's inside me and the merciless cold office temperature that was making this entire monthly ordeal quite unbearable.

I blame this too for making me extra sensitive today. Every comment tinged with sarcasm accompanied with mocking laughter was just so annoying. Or was I blowing things out of proportion? Had it been an ordinary day, I'd just be a plain remark that I would not really care about. But today is not an ordinary day. And somehow, I have allowed the negativity creep through me and for a few seconds I felt so lost. I ran to the comfort room and gave myself a minute to cry. I was like releasing the floodgate of negative energy and for a very short while all I could think about was how some things in my life are not quite right.

A few people around me were driving me nuts and I just wanted to hate them. But then, a faint voice was telling me, "write your hurts on the sand." Yeah, they are not usually irritating. And I am not usually this unstable. So, I had to let it go.

I wish it was a better day. (I've been finding myself wishing all too often lately). I've been conditioning myself to be happy whatever the circumstances are, but I guess physical pain is a different matter altogether. I bet this is a reminder too... that I need to start living a more active lifestyle. Healthy diet and lots and lots of exercise. Yoga, perhaps.

photo taken here


  1. same here... im suffering menstrual cramps all the time... I always take pain killers. P.S. i finally found out how to comment on your blog....It works when I use my google account and doesn't work with my wordpress account :D

  2. I try not to take meds. But, I was forced to take one yesterday coz I didn't want to collapse on the way home. :( So hate this! haha.. good to know that Jackie... Thanks for dropping by :D