this week has been a series of ups and downs. i've been restless. i want to go somewhere. i dream of things to turn out well for me. but i just don't know how to get to where i want to be. i felt stuck. i felt days pass me by without much of a change... without progress. i sit all day in front of the computer doing my usual monotonous task and i feel like this is not the life i want for myself. i browse pictures of friends on facebook and i see how they have come so far, how they have achieved so much, how they have gone to places that i can only dream of (for now), how life seems to be more vibrant and well for them.
i began to ask why i couldn't attain the same stability, the same state of life. you know, the big green monster was consuming me making myself think and feel that my life sucks and that others have it better. it felt as if i always have to work doubly hard in order to get what i want, while others have it served to them in a silver platter.
but then, i read the words that i badly needed.. words that can lift me up.
"If you think badly of the success of others, you won't be successful because you'll also be thinking badly of your own success. If there is envy in your heart for other peoples' success, you'll never receive success, either. You need to wish blessing on others. Train yourself to celebrate the success of others. If you see someone getting wealthy, be happy for that person. Admire him. Learn from him." (Bo Sanchez)
as if it wasn't enough, a dear friend reminded me how much i need to be grateful for everything that i have. he said, "do not count what is non-existent. count what you have". and he went on enumerating the things i have to be thankful for.
i cried. because i know he was right. by being so depressed as i look at the things and the kind of life i wish to covet, i was being ungrateful to God. i was being unfaithful too. i forgot to keep in mind that He has something great in store for me too. that someday i'll make it. that if i am just clear with where i want to go, where i want to be, what i want to achieve, He'll take care of the rest. He will work on the details.and He wants me to be really really happy.
have you had the same feelings and thoughts lately? how did you cope with it. i must say that talking to our loved ones helps a lot. being with positive people makes life more bearable. talking more to Him lifts the burden away too. silence and moments to breathe deeply and simply be at peace work wonders as well. i always have to remind myself not to rush, to take time to savor life and all its complexities, let things, surprises, miracles unfold. all will be well, i have faith.
friends, let me leave you with this song. it calms and uplifts the spirit. a reminder that God is in control even in the middle of the storm. enjoy! and have a great Friday night, and a grand weekend. God bless you!
"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10