2011 Had Been Good To Me

Monday, January 09, 2012 Nicajoice 0 Comments

It's the ninth day of the month, the ninth day of the year. And as in every morning God has blessed me with, I am very much grateful and happy to be alive. I thank the Lord for this day. And for the year that has passed.

To sum up a year in words is tough. And pardon me if you'd see "Thank You" here repeated again and again. I am grateful for things good and bad. They have made me stronger, ever more grateful and (I hope) more loving and understanding.

I'll always be grateful for my family. We've been through a lot this past year and I would have crumbled if not for the strength we have given each other. If not for God, who remained in our midst as we sailed through storms, we would have not ended the year strong. He has, in a short time, lent us Baby Francis and although he was gone too soon, he has made us realize valuable lessons in life. It is because of our family's great love for him that we were able to stand together and fight for his life til the end. He will always be a part of us, and we believe that he is now in the loving arms of our Creator and Savior.

If there is another thing that I am very much thankful for 2011 it would be the presence of good friends, old and new. They kept me sane, made me more hopeful, saved me from boredom, taught me new lessons, inspired me in countless ways.

God knows how awkward I could get on first meetings, and I am not good at starting conversations, and I'm not the cheery type (I honestly think I'm a boring person, and I rarely talk, and I don't share intimate secrets that much to people I am not very close to) and I actually appear a snob even in my greatest attempt to look friendly, and warm... So, I 'm sending out a BIG Thank You to the One Above for in spite and despite of all these, I am loved by friends. 

I am also grateful for all the opportunities to extend help - to loved ones and even to people I don't know or have never met. I admit, when I was younger, I was a selfish kid. I didn't share food and I only wanted the good things for myself. Worst, I was envious of others. I still am, a bit, to this day but I am slowly learning to let go of my own needs. It's never easy. For a few minutes, I would feel how my heart aches because of trying to keep things only for my own satisfaction. But then, realization would hit me and giving would become easier, almost automatic. Just the mere thought that I am so blessed, and that I've never been empty-handed because the Good Lord has provided everything for me makes me less of a selfish brat than I was.
I am very much thankful for having a job too! I am one lucky girl who works in a great company, working with nice and loving people. People I rarely appreciate,people I spend time with five days a week, twenty days a month. And I am blessed because despite our differences, we are one big happy family. Having this job has given me the resources to survive, buy my own needs and provide the needs of my siblings. I have not really appreciated work because of its routinary nature but seeing that millions of people are in desperate need of one has totally changed my perspective. I am able to help, enjoy and live because of this and I'll do my best to be better in this field.
2011 has also taught me to be grateful for simple things, gestures and seemingly "ordinary" events. You may have read some of them on my semi-regular "Merry Monday" posts. And I'd like to keep this attitude always. It has made me less grumpy :)

Most of all, the last year has taught me to love. To embrace loving again in all its facets. Love for God, love for family, love for friends, Love for self. I cannot count the many opportunities that I've been given to share this genuine act and feeling. At times I have felt my love remained unrequited, but most of the time, I have received love more than what I think I deserve. And though it sounds unfortunate, I have learned to love even with the knowledge that it will never be the kind that I could reveal and shout to the world. Yet, I am happy. And I guess, it's all that matters.

The past year has not brought me to a lot of new places. But I am glad that I've visited Davao and Samar twice. I sometimes think that life had been stagnant and that I have not really made progress. I feel like I have not stepped-up - career wise and financially. I ended the year still single too (though this is the least of my concerns). But then, I firmly believe that where I am, where I was, is/was exactly where God wants and wanted me to be. I may have not reached my goals yet but I am getting there. And I have hope that days will only get better.

Bye 2011! Thank you for being good to me.